by Bob Brandon....
Go Go Energy Rangers
So...you wanted to be a big
shot government bureaucrat...
Congratulations Bill Richardson.
As Secretary of Energy, you've managed to preside over some pretty spectacular
goof ups. Now that's not to say you personally were to blame. The way things
look from over here, you probably didn't have a clue what was going on.
When the Los Alamos fire
got out of hand, you weren't aware that top secret documents were being
uploaded by Gnutella. And then of course, there is Wen Ho Lee. Remember
him? Now the Energy Department Follies plays on. Coming to a fuel tank
near you: Obscene Prices!! Thank you, yes, it's everyone's favorite, excessive
home heating bills.
You remember the other day
when I tried to talk Al Gore out of wasting the Strategic Petroleum Reserve,
but no, he had to have the bump for his polls. Now comes the word that
some if not a substantial portion of our taxpayer-funded oil is going to
While I love Europeans, and
sympathize with the fact that they now pay several times more per gallon
than we do, I take exception to the fact that our oil is being used as
a huge get rich quick scheme for some well-placed, ballsy businessmen.
You gotta admit, it takes balls the size of bowling balls to pull off a
scam like this. Talk about a rush. The movie rights are under negotiation,
One major point all good
con artists know is to look natural while you pull the job. Just act like
you're supposed to be taking possession of all this oil without actual
cash outlay, hundreds of thousands of gallons of crude. You then calmly
arrange for delivery where the price is highest. It's the oldest law of
capitalism...money talks, and every barrel has it's price.
The thing that gets me, besides
still having to pay way too much to keep my family warm, is why Bill Richardson's
cracked squad of Energy Rangers can't do a thing about this incredible
boondoggle. I've got an idea, why don't we appropriate more money to hire
more cronies, I mean Department of Energy personnel to do preliminary research
to determine if a study should be commissioned.
By then most of us will have
forgotten all about OilGate.