TV FOR FUN AND PROFIT (MOSTLY PROFIT)

By Scoper

NEWS ITEM: "FOX TV to back away from "reality shows" after Millionaire Marriage embarrassment"

Don't you believe it!  Our vast and vapid research department (me) has obtained a confidential memo from dubious sources outlining the new Fox lineup for the May sweeps.  It's a winner!  Take a look:

* "Who's Doing It With Whom"  (celebrities)

* "Who's Doing It To Whom"  (business and finance)

* "Stuff That The Tabloids Are Too Ashamed To Make Up"  (investigative reporting)

* "Liberals Suck!"  (contemporary political debate)

* "Conservatives Suck!"  (responsible opposing comment)

* "A Fake ID You Can Be Proud Of"  (teenagers)

* "Beating The Breathalyzer"  (all ages)

* "Lie Your Way To The Top"  (self-improvement)

* "All Men Are Pigs"  (for the ladies)

* "Men Aren't Pigs, Women Are Crazy"  (for the gentlemen)

* "When Supermodels Attack"  (males 18-34)

* "Masturbation Land"  (immediately following "When Supermodels Attack")

Let Bush and McCain fight it out for the "moral high ground."  We've got plenty to keep us busy until convention-time!  Oh, and "Please watch responsibly!"