As this is an election year, and as Al Gore and George Bush seek the greatest honor our democratic society can bestow (by a yet to be named intern), one may wonder what lesser-known politicians are doing. With Al and George W. hogging the spotlight, what can a lowly state senator do to garner some public attention? They can attempt to pass truly Stupid Laws!

At this point I feel the need to say I am NOT making this up. The following is TRUE. On January 19, 2000 Senator Tom King of Mississippi introduced a bill to the state legislature that would make it a crime for a fully dressed man to display an erection. We won't be camping in Mississippi this year cause tenting is illegal. Men failing to conceal a friendly weapon (with or without permit) will be arrested and fined. Is that a banana in your pocket or are you…. Ah you get the idea.

To quote the bill, nudity can be defined as" the showing of covered male genitalia in a discernibly turgid state". This begs the question, Is Mississippi a discernibly turgid state? Violating this law would come with a fine of up to $2000. and/or one year in jail. A rather STIFF sentence in my humble opinion.

I'd also wonder how they'd go about enforcing this law. Would law enforcement be forced to stake out nudie bars, adult theatres and sperm banks? Would viagra become a dangerous controlled substance? And wouldn't the expression of the male cop who had to ticket you just be priceless??? I for one am mad as hell and am not going to take it anymore. Men of America arise in the face of adversity. Will we not stand up tall and proud as big government sticks its nose in our crotches? Or will we shrivel and lay dormant? Isn't our very manhood at stake? I say we fight. I say we rise up and show them we mean business!

Well, Rest easy guys. Truth be told, the bill was defeated March 7, 2000. But this was far to fun a column to write to let that stop me.