Certain words pop up when discussing the journalistic integrity of my local newspaper: Words like Devoid of, Lacking, and Absent. On today’s editorial page they printed a "Your Turn" article written by a local who took offense at the use of the word "Gay" as a reference for homosexuals. "Homosexuals" he said "are not gay". Sigh…"No matter how they twist it, the word just does not apply to the lifestyle they have chosen. I can find no dictionary reference that remotely applies to that lifestyle".

I could now point out that homosexuality is not a choice (when did you choose to be a heterosexual?), or that he is blatantly generalizing. I could point out that his dictionary is painfully out of date, or even question the importance of printing this fluff piece filler crap on the editorial page, but I won’t. I will instead acquiesce to his wishes and cease using the word "Gay" as a synonym for Homosexual, but I have a few conditions that I require be met first.

1. Henceforth you must cease using the word Queer as a synonym for Homosexual. Likewise, the words fag, faggot, pansy, lezbo dyke and bulldyke.
2. The word Queen may only be used in context and when applicable. If there is any doubt, ask. Most queens don’t mind having their royal state recognized.
3. The word "bent" may only be used as a reference to homosexuals only when spoken with a proper English accent.
4. Henceforth, the word "enchanted" will be used as a substitute for the word "fairy". Exceptions will be allowed only in children’s stories, dental offices and at Dungeons and Dragons conventions.

"Gay" is not a politically correct buzzword. The word gay was associated with homosexuality for decades, long before the PC movement. This is not, as was suggested, an attempt to obfuscate homosexuality behind a Gay façade. It is an insulting, derogatory word that was thrust upon the homosexual community, cleaned up, dusted off and worn with pride, and that is what the writer and his kind find offensive.

Regardless to reason for his offence, my offer still stands. I will gladly give up the word "Gay" if my conditions are met.