With no offense intended to the fine folks who've allowed me the pleasure of writing this column, I'm confused as what's expected of me. I was asked to write a column from the "perspective of a gay male", and I have no idea what that is. I must conclude that they, like many people, assume that because I am gay I somehow view the world filtered through my sexual identity. I do not. I view the world through my own identity, of which homosexuality is a small part. When I look in the mirror I don't see a "gay male", I see me. Case in point: Today I woke when the alarm went off, had breakfast (coffee and a bagel) showered, dressed and fed the cats before heading out to work. I spent eight hours doing mind-numbing work for a company that doesn't appreciate me. I interacted with my friends/co-workers. After work I had dinner at a greasy spoon with a friend. We had talked about stopping for a few beers and a game or two of pool, but decided we were both too tired. I dropped her off and came home for a night of lame TV, playing on the computer and annoying the cats. In an hour or so I'll head off to bed (alone). Behold a day in the life of a gay man. Repeat this five times and you'll have a workweek in the life of a gay man. Does this differ dramatically from your own life? On my days off, I'll clean the house, do laundry, shop for the week's groceries, pay bills etc… I might have a friend over for dinner, might see a flick, might stop by the local watering hole for a beer. Again, Is this dramatically different from you? The most dramatic thing I've done this week was attend a marathon 10 hour CPR/First Aid responder training class. (I strongly encourage everyone to do this. Most YMCAs offer them for free.) My point (and yes, I do have one) is this: sex and sexuality are a damn small part of my life. I suspect this is true for most people. On those occasions I date, its dinner and a movie, beer and pool, or a rented video at home. When I have sex (which is far less frequent than those magazines tell you, and certainly less frequent than I'd like), the only difference from most other couples is that both participants posses a Y chromosome. I'd like people to perceive me as a nice guy, intelligent, funny, yet capable of being a jerk. I'd like my boss to see me as an asset to the company, my co-workers to see me as a friend and ally. I'd like to think my friends to think of me as, well, a friend. I'd like my opinions to be respected. I'd like the clerk behind the counter to see me as a cash paying customer who deserves quality service. I'd like the folks at the bank to see me as the guy who makes his payments on time. The fact that I'm gay has nothing to do with any of these situations, and is totally irrelevant 98% of the time.