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by Java Mann
I’ve
been doing some thinking this week and I’ve reached a conclusion. I don’t
pretend that this is a revelation, as I’m aware others have reached this
conclusion before me. I’ve heard it from friends and strangers, as well
as reading it on bumper stickers. I guess the conclusion I’ve reached is
that conventional wisdom is in fact correct; Men Suck. Obviously, as a
man I’ve tried to deny this from the get-go, but today I accept it as fact.
You may well be wondering
how I reached this conclusion. I could lie and say it was years of detailed
research, that the multi-year study finally yielded a result, but the truth
is far simpler than that.
My frequent readers might
recall I had made reference in a previous column to Mr. Ex. Mr. Ex is the
individual, who after about one week of dating announced to our mutual
friends that we were boyfriends. He then disappeared from the face of the
earth to some strange segment of the twilight zone where phones do not
exist. When I finally was able to reach him by phone we agreed to meet.
He failed to show up. When I did finally meet up with him (quite by chance)
he explained that he had been incredibly busy at work and was barely able
to think. He told me that his work was sending him to another state and
would be gone for a week or so. He assured me he’d call when he got back.
He obviously forgot we have
mutual friends. From one I learned that he was in fact on vacation, and
another I learned that he had in fact requested a transfer to another state.
He of course didn’t bother telling me, his "boyfriend" any of this… Men
Suck
Last week I met a guy at
my local watering hole. He was from out of town and didn’t know the scene,
so I agreed to escort him around town. We talked, played pool and had a
few beers and hit it off.
OK, the details: He was 27,
6’5" and looked a great deal like a well-known young actor. He’s also a
medical professional. Yes, I was smitten. Not being one to kiss and tell
I’ll refrain from certain details, but just say we exchanged phone numbers
over breakfast.
Being as cool as I can be
(it’s an effort) I waited till Friday to give him a call. I had Friday
and Saturday off and was gonna invite him out again to possibly visit the
clubs we hadn’t seen yet. This of course came too a crashing end when his
wife
answered the phone… Men Suck.
There is one guy I’ve had
my eye on for about two months now. We’ve talked quite a bit and decided
there might be something there, but he conceded that we’d have to take
it slow. I’m all for this. I really like him and am willing to do what
it takes to win him over.
Obviously, when I start a
new relationship, I produce pheromones that attract every loser in a fifty
mile range. Last night, while sitting at the bar talking with him, three
different sleaze boys made blatant passes at me. This of course created
the illusion that I am some kind of slut. He left me at the bar without
saying goodnight.
Men Suck.
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