It all started from a simple statement:  “I think my wife and I should each have our backups so that when one of us doesn’t want sex, we go to our backup.”  Of course, this is just horrible for those monogamous Bible thumpers.  It makes perfect sense to me though. 

Think about it.  As a couple, you select one man and one woman to serve as the backup.  Backups are to be used only in a scenario where your partner isn’t “in the mood” when you are. 

Or maybe you’re a woman, on the rag, and your man just doesn’t want to fuck, and you do.  So you call your backup. 

Or you’re a woman who doesn’t want it nearly as much as your husband does, so on nights when you “have a headache”, send him to his backup. 

OK, now that you get the gist of the backup plan, let me describe a few variations of it that I have encountered.  I have one friend who recently got married.  She has never performed oral sex, and she refuses to.  However, she accepts the fact that he may, at some time, be completely overcome by the desire to be sucked off.  So, she told him that, if he needs a  blow job, he can get a prostitute, only for oral sex, since she won’t perform it. 

I’ll use myself as an example now.  If I’m in a relationship, there’s not much I won’t try, but I do have limits.  I don’t want to be whipped or flogged or beaten in any way.  I don’t want a man to urinate or defecate on my body during sex (or at any other time). 

I’m not against trying stuff to spice up a relationship, but I refuse to suffer injuries just so my partner can get off.  So if I am in a relationship and the man I’m with feels he needs something along these lines, I know a decent dominatrix I can refer him to. 

I would hate to keep any man I care about from having a completely fulfilling sex life.  I do know, though, that I would resent him if I did things that I didn’t want to, just to make him happy.  So this is the perfect solution:  I know that he is fulfilled, yet I don’t have to do anything I don’t want. 

I’m fairly convinced that this could keep people more faithful to each other.  If  you are able to openly discuss your sexual needs, and you trust each other enough, there’s nothing wrong with letting someone else do the things that you’re not willing to do. 

Join us next week, when I explain why I’m single. .