Comments
by The Satyr
The Good, the Bad, and
the Lonely
There is something that I
have been thinking about a lot lately, the good guy versus the bad boy
in relationships. It is a complex study and I am sure that I will not cover
all its aspects here in this one column but I intend to at least start.
I got locked into this thought because I have been talking to my girl's
neighbor a lot. She is depressed often about never having man around and
never being able to keep one when she gets one. She believes that the entire
fault lies with her and it has given her a serious low self-esteem problem.
I tell her many times that she is an attractive woman but she never hears
me. And she is a very attractive woman, medium brown hair, a nice deep
brown tan, curves in the right places and a quirky but cute sense of humor.
I love her to death and hate that she feels this way about herself and
that she hates men. Well not exactly hate, more like fear, but she definitely
does not trust them.
So I started thinking, what
is the problem here? I delved into my own insecurities and within a little
bit I came up with the problem. Men. It’s that simple men have the problem
and women do not know how to deal with it. Here is a little secret for
you ladies, so listen very carefully. Men are very, very, VERY insecure.
At least most of the good guys are. That’s why you never can find them,
they are off in another world dreaming of you, and wishing that they could
speak to you. See, a beautiful woman intimidates a man. He gets worried
that he doesn’t have enough class for the likes of her and so he just keeps
quiet. I know, because I was that man before I met my girl. Its only because
she is so open and caring and communicative that I can be as confident
as I am now and speak with my voice and not the voices of others.
Bad boys don't have that
problem because they know what they want (read SEX!) and they know that
to get that they have to play a few games. They can't be honest with anyone
because honesty doesn't fit into the game. SO they whittle their way into
your life and then when they get what they really want the wool slowly
slips off the wolf and you are left there staring into the eyes of a big
bad wolf.
Nice boys on the other hand
don't know how to talk to women. They missed that class in school and so
they dream more than anything. They are usually the guys you go to for
advice about the bad boys because they are sensitive and caring and they
want to help. Even if that means they hurt themselves in the process because
what they really want to say is dump that jerk and go out with me. Nice
boys are quiet and reserved and haven't quite learned the value of a compliment
and how not to make it sound like a corny pick-up line.
Bad boys know how to do this
and so they can make a corny pick-up line sound like the golden ring from
an Angel's harp. Bad boys are attractive and suave and manipulative. Good
guys are often just as attractive they just don't know how to carry it.
Women love compliments. They
love a man that knows how to dress and how to take care of himself. They
want a man they can talk to and not be judgemental, but lifted up and exalted
even if they are making mistakes. Mostly they want someone they can talk
to and have sex with at the same time. Someone that pushes all the right
buttons, so to speak. And Bad boys do this as long as it takes to get what
they want.
SO where does this leave
all of us, the good guys, the bad guys, and my friend? In a boiling pot
of heated emotions and no communication. If you remember in my first article
I talked about not closing your eyes to people around you but viewing everyone
with eyes of lust. Well that is a start.
The next step is communication.
Women, those nice men that you talk to all the time about your bad boys,
talk to them for a change as a person who is sexually attractive. Even
if you are not sexually attracted to them, bolster their confidence. Don't
lead them on but let them know what they have going on and help them out.
There are a lot of wild demons in them that are rearing to get out but
they need watering, nurturing and caring.
If they get it from someone
who really wants to help then they can blossom into the guy you might,
one day, become attracted too. And if not then maybe a friend of yours
will. And he will treat her right because he had learned his own value
with your help. Men need to feel valuable and needed. It’s a male preoccupation
that is drilled into us from day one.
Now as for the good guys,
well you need to start realizing your potential. Smile at women instead
of looking down when you pass them. Make them feel like a woman. Don't
let yourself be the affectionate male that you are and forget that a woman
likes to be told how beautiful she is. She likes to be showered with attention.
When she gets it she oftentimes will give it back in some way or another.
Don't forget that under it
all, you are a male and that you have desires too. Speak up and let your
voice be heard. Somewhere there are people who want to hear it. You would
be surprised how close those people often are. Be real and be confident.
Most of the beautiful women are insecure too and they will appreciate your
confidence, your attention and your opinions.
As far as the bad boys, reform
or don't. We really don't care either way. If you reform into the good
guy then you will have a lot of experience to draw from. You might find
something that you didn't even know you were looking for. If not, well
then you make us look good so keep at it. As long as we look good compared
to the alternative its fine by me. Besides you are an integral part in
the relationship game. Every now and then a woman needs a bad boy. Someone
to turn up the drama of his or her lives, just like a man needs a bad girl.
So don't take my words too harshly. You do have a place; it's just a bit
smaller in my world then in yours.
And to my friend who can't
find a good guy. Well, trust me he is out there. You just haven't learned
the rules yet. Good luck. I will help you all I can.
The Satyr
P.S. As always the Satyr
appreciates comments. Actually he wants to demand them but thinks that
is too harsh. So if you want to please click on my name above and let me
know what you think. Or if you want send gratuities, pictures, and requests,
whatever. Just click the link. NOW!
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