Comments
by Xona.
NRA to Offer Drunkard
Gun Usage Course
In a slurred, rambling, speech
recently, Charlton Heston, President and Chief Drunk of the NRA announced
a new program to teach Drunks how to use a Rifle or Gun while under the
influence of alcohol. Called the SUI program, for Shooting Under the Influence.
"Man.. er many of hour fi..fine
membras, have a drunking preblem." President Heston stated as he wobbled
and stared out into space at the NRA announcement.
"This prank, no I mean problem,
HA HA, is due to the constant fissure..um..pressure that our swin..uh fine
members are under due to psychological problems theys suffer in connection
with their killing of animals and school age children for sporvt. Soooo,
er. what was I saying? Uh, yea, the NRA will now instruct its many fucked,
um fine members on how to shoot while drunk.
"To damostrate the effectiveness
of the NRA's SUI program, I, who has just had five shots of scotch will
now take my high-powered guz, and shoot the DILDO of the head of me's good
friend and NRA leader, Wayne licehead..er no.. I meat Lapierre, yes Wino
Lapierre. OK's..ready Wino..er Wayne?"
President Heston than took
his high-powered rifle and aimed it at Wayne Lapierre, standing about 25
feet away and with the rifle swaying to and frow he looked into the scope
and pulled the trigger. Immediately a large hole appeared in the forehead
of Wayne Lapierre.
"Oh shits," bellowed a very
angry Heston. "I guess we will have to referrer to Wayne as Jim Brady Jr,
from now on, HA HA. Well, not to worry, the SUI program just needs a little
fine tuning, and all NRA members have good health insurance so Wino, er
Wayne will receive the best medical attention available. Er..look that's
all for nows, I has a propared studment that outlines the NRA drank prosgram,"
concluded president Heston, who then staggered off the podium and went
over to check on his friend Wayne Lapierre, who was twitching on the ground
as massive amounts of blood and brains spurted from his punctured head
Xona
XONA REPORT---We Report, you Puke
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