Wild Redneck Rebels!
Trailer Park Woman
& Her Ol' Man
When you watch "Front Porch Furniture, NC"
you'll enter a hidden world of dilapidated trailers, WILD redneck rebels,
confederate flags, low brain cells, renegade nuns and TATTERED, STINKING
FRONT PORCH FURNITURE!!!!!
|"Trailer Park Woman", her "Ol Man",
"Nona Lisa" & "Billy Bob" enjoy their low-stress, white trash lifestyle
of hanging out,cooking and music. The EVIL General Attorney and the powerful
mega-corporation GLOBO CHEM threaten to change all that.
Armed only with CB radios, a tawdry
leaflet campaign and some (possibly) tainted peanut brittle...CAN THEY
TAKE ON THE NEW WORLD ORDER AND WIN????
Shot on location in beautiful North and
South Carolina, USA; productions costs for "FPFNC" were a whopping $218.00.
Now that "Front Porch Furniture, NC" is
complete, I'm working on my new project "Dick's Calculator is Missing".
Mathematical genius and ultra-nerd DICK loves his calculator and spends
countless hours programming it. Watch him melt down when it is stolen!
The calculator's "kidnappers" play sick mind games with Dick. Will Dick
ever see his calculator again???? Coming soon, so watch for it!!
|Front Porch Furniture, NC
Written and produced by Anne M. Long
Videography Anne M. Long
"Trailer Park Woman" Anne Martin
"Ol Man" Darren Stevens
"Nona Lisa" Melissa Williams
"Billy Bob" Mitch Cooper
Also appearing. "Renegade Nun" Jerla Gross,
"Giuseppe Longo" Joe Long, "Scarlet" as herself, "Walter Klondike" Ron
Riley. "Hillbilly Family" appearing as themselves.
||Why I made "Front
Porch Furniture, NC"
After reading "Rebel Without A Crew" by
Robert Rodriguez, I got "movie making fever". I just had to make a film
myself. Money or no money. Camera or no camera. I happen to work in broadcasting,
primarily radio, as well as freelance TV production work. (In fact, I'm
in hundreds of commercials in both North and South Carolina.) I have technical
experience as well, so I can handle a camera. I've also worked in Master
Control for a couple of TV stations, so I'm fortunate enough to know alot
of skilled production folks. Just the same, I was determined to do this
without backers (thus, no need to answer to them) I had no choice but to
make "FPFNC" as cheaply as possible.
In fact, I'll bet this was the only flick
typed on a typewriter this past year. (I had no computer at the time).
I bought a camcorder from my friend Carol. It's a circa 1989 Panasonic
Reporter model. I got a few clamp-on lights (like mechanics use) for $8.00
apiece. Otherwise, I used natural light. This made for some sun-dappled
outdoor shots. Shooting INDOORS tho, was a special kind of hell.
|I was renting an efficiency apartment
at the time. The tiny dimensions made it look trailer-like, which was good.
The dilapidated exterior siding made it look even MORE trailer like. But,
interior shots were HELL. I was paying a flat fee for rent and utilities
which included central heat and air. However, my landlord didn't provide
air conditioning, as contracted. The place would still be over 85 degrees
indoors, even at night. So another round of thank-yous to my cast who suffered
in the heat. Thank goodness I could buy good bottled water, 3 bottles for
I treated my cast as well as I could for
as little money as I had to spend. I fed them well, tho' usually it was
the 99 cent special at Wendy's. But I was also lucky enough to have coupons
for a barbecue place. I also gave the principal cast members a $2.00 a
day per-diem. plus a piece of the action.
I paid them in Sacajawea gold dollar coins,
so it would seem like "more". I even toyed with the idea of calling my
production company "Gold Coin". But that would give my films a "sheen"
that they just don't have. Since I work swing shifts at my current radio
job, I had a large pool of DJ's to choose from for the cast. Let me tell
you, NO ONE was camera shy! I would shoot from 10am 'til 1pm, break for
lunch, then shoot 'til 3pm. I worked this out as the best way to cope with
the extreme heat. I'm pleased that I took still photos throughout the shoot.
||Believe it or not, I know of a production
that had far more assests as far as budget and equipment, yet didn't take
any stills! I couldn't make, say, an elaborate courtroom drama, instead
I made a story I could afford to make, and there's plenty of laughs in
"Front Porch Furniture, NC." I decided to release the flick only after
previewing it for several area TV and commercial producers. They "got it"
and that's why I'm releasing "FPFNC".
On a more serious note. I'm discombobulated
by all the rights being taken away from us every day. And the increasing
loss of privacy. Even though I make a living appearing in TV commercials,
I don't like seeing video cameras everywhere I go.
And, believe it or not, there is a small
town near a university in NC that has forbidden folks from having upholstered
furniture on their front porches. At first, I thought these people were
merely lazy, too lazy to cart off their old furniture when they got new
stuff. It turns out they were actually putting their living room stuff
out on the front porch so they could beat the heat at night. They were
doing this out of necessity, since they couldn't afford air-conditioning.
The characters in "Front Porch Furniture,
NC" are dopey enough, but they DO fight for their rights. If you want to
know if they win, though, you'll have to order "FPFNC" for yourself!!!
Ordering information for
To order "Front Porch Furniture, NC"....
Just send $8.00 (this includes $3.00 for
712 Louise Avenue #301
Charlotte, NC 28204
*First 50 orders get a copy of my hilarious
cable access show "AM in the PM" as a free bonus gift with their order
If you pay by money order ($8.00) I
will ship immediately. Allow five (5) days for personal checks to clear.
UNDECIDED? Or maybe you'd just like to
spread some Front Porch Furniture Power! Send your (snail mail) address
and I'll send you the action packed, photo filled press kit for "Front
Porch Furniture, NC." You'll be supporting grass roots underground
film, and I'll be donating 1% of all gross proceeds to "Feed The Children'.